Nothing really.

Sometimes Saturdays are scrumptious and sometimes Saturdays are a word that doesn't exist because it would be a terrible word and no one would want to explain its meaning to children because they would die of terror and then there would be no children and then the human race would eventually cease to exist. Sometimes I have wonderful things to tell the people who will follow the link to my blog that I post on Facebook, and sometimes I have no things at all. I.e. Nothing. Today I will make something out of nothing. Because I really like this blog thing.

Today I went to the bank. The people there could not help me with what I needed help with so they dialed a number for me and said I could speak on the phone to someone who could. The first lovely lady said I should call a different number. The receptionist dialed the number for me. The next lady said I should call a different number. The receptionist dialed it for me. Lovely lady number three couldn't help me so she transferred me. I was transferred 5 more times (with a whole lot of holding in between, which included a voice telling me I should never give my pin to anyone, which just brought up a lot of guilt) until I asked, "Why are you lovely ladies playing hockey with my call?" "I don't know, let me transfer you to Customer Services." The game finally ended after 25min 34sec (according to my Sudoku game, level easy) and the last lady, the loveliest of them all, put an end to my misery, and activated my debit card to be used in Uganda. So we paid for our parking ticket and went home, James.

My family abandoned me for board games and a concert so I was alone at home, thinking of all the plans I could have made for my day but didn't because a) I don't make plans very well b) I needed to pack for a 6 week trip abroad c) I love being home alone. I don't really love being home alone, but if I did, it would be an excellent reason to stay home alone.

When my parents came home, I was so ecstatic that I laughed and had a bowl of celebratory sorbet and had the hardihood to write a blog post.

Hardihood is a pretty cool word that I just discovered. I may incorporate it into my everyday vocabulary.
"I cannot believe you would have the hardihood to not replace the toilet roll."
"I love charlieissocoollike because he has the hardihood to be cool."
And other such riveting everyday speech.

I'll bet you love sorbet. Sorbet is the dessert of the people. It is low-fat, dairy-free and suitable for vegetarians. I know what you're thinking. (I don't now but I will after you read the next sentence because then what I write will be in your head) To hell with vegetarians! I'm ok with vegetarians. When I was young...er, I had a friend who converted to vegetarianism and although it was traumatising at first, I dealt with it. The way I dealt with it was by mocking her. I don't think she minded. She had bigger celery sticks to fry.
Sorbet is also awesome because it melts a little quicker than ice cream and gets all juicey.
...It's more poetic when eating it than what I can put into words.

Great. 15th December, I salute you. Goodbye.